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Wednesday Free-for-All!

The method-behind-the-madness of the Friday Free-For-All is simple: I provide a quotation, statement, statistic, or piece of news, without any commentary of my own. The readers are free to merrily discuss, debate, deride, or mock in whatever way they see fit -- hopefully it will at least tangentially pertain to the posted item, but hey, it's a free-for-all -- who knows!

"Bwuh?" you might be thinking, because it is not Friday, and Free-For-Alls are on Fridays! Ah yes, but as this is a special week of massive overeating in the name of some fictionalized notion of history tradition, things are a bit wonky. Firstly, I'll be out of town visiting the (future) in-laws. Secondly, Friday I will be shopping, and thus, too tired/frustrated/annoyed/murderous to post our dear Free-For-All. So enjoy it a few days early!

Here it is:

What are, in your opinion, the top three most pressing issues/problems facing the world today? Facing the nation?

My vote is for bears.



Top 3

Globally: terrorism, AIDS, growing economic disparity between nations

Nationally: ideologues on both sides of the aisle, the dumbing down of America, and I was going to say bears; they are godless killing machines, and one day, when Bears rule the land, we will all turn to Stephen Colbert and say he was the man who knew, and we did not heed his warning...

...but instead I will say 'a certain learned college professor not being President of the United States.' He would instantly restore our image in the global community and tell amazingly captivating stories along the way. Classics, such as, "...so I was doing shots with the French ambassador to Iraq, and then..." And who could forget: "Did I ever tell you the time I was mistaken for an Algerian terrorist?"
Facing the world: epidemics like TB, religious/ethnic fundamentalism, China.

Facing the nation: substandard education, health care/insurance industry, bears.
I'd be serious if I were in a serious mood, however I am not.

My list is the same for both the world and the nation:

1. Bears (I killed one in a video game the other day in the name of Stephen Colbert)

2. Humans - no I'm serious. If humans didn't exist than these pesky problems with racism, sexism, AIDS, blowing shit up, etc wouldn't exist.

3. Ok I lied, one serious one: People taking themselves too seriously. If people took their heads out of their asses, learned to chill out and just be less neurotic the world would be a better place.

Pfft. You're all crazy. 'Bears', indeed. That's like saying 'Arabs' are a threat. They're not, only the crazy ones are.

Thus I submit that it is not bears that threaten our future, it's midget circus bears.